i have, apparently, become to the go to person for ad/hd advice among my friends
i had a rather frank (more on her end than mine) conversation with a friend about this subject
this friend is married, has 2 children and is a stay at home mom for the most part, she works part time but not steadily
she called me to talk about her first grader who is starting to struggle in school … she has heard a little hear and there about ad/hd and wondered if that could be her daughters problem but at the same time didn’t want to be one of those parents that drugs their kid into a coma … her child is having trouble focusing
i advised her that i too had the same issues with my little man, i didn’t want him drugged into oblivion, still don’t, but i also didn’t want him struggling any longer, he knew there was something wrong while he was sitting at the table trying to do homework for 2 hours when it should have taken him 15 minutes and it was frustrating to him
i told her the best thing to do was to get her daughter checked, it can’t hurt and they could always get a second opinion if they wanted
she needed more … so i told her all of the things i knew about ad/hd
she started crying and wondering if she had it too after i told her it was very hereditary
i felt like i was helping an alcoholic
she didn’t finish high school because she “just couldn’t” get through classes and that was primarily the reason she was a stay at home mother most of the time, after she left school and until she got married she worked for a friends dad
she told me about her inability to get through her day, most days … how she knows the house needs to be cleaned, laundry done, etc, etc but she just “can’t get it done” … it took very little to distract her from doing what needed to be done … and even more crying when she admitted to me that she knows some of their friends no longer come over because of the state of their household … remembering what her house looked like the last time i saw her i could understand … and finally how her and the hubby are also struggling because of this problem
again, i told her to see a dr and get a second opinion if she felt the need
that was several weeks ago … after we talked she deleted her facebook and myspace
we talked again today
she and her daughter went to a dr … both were diagnosed with severe ad/hd and she was also dx with depression as well … both are on meds … the family is in counseling … mom and dad to repair their marriage … mother and daughter to address depression, manage meds and for anger management issues (which can be pretty common) … the family to build stability back into the family
she thanked me immensely …. i told her all i did was mostly listen and provide a little knowledge
again she thanked me and said that most of her other friends wouldn’t tell her the truth … she asked them after she was diagnosed about why they stopped visiting and after she prompted them they finally told her it was because the house was always a mess and smelled heavily of the 2 cats they owned
she told me that if she had not known that i have dealt with ad/hd alot she would not have known where to go … she could have ended up loosing her family and even more of her friends … that now she is learning how to get control of her day and what she needs to get done … things aren’t perfect but they are much better
i told her that’s what friends are for even if we hadn’t seen each other in years
i feel good knowing that i have helped someone if only by telling them to go to a dr and sharing what i have learned